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my least loved | the car

Considering I’d be completely stuck without it, the most neglected item I have is my car. It’s a mobile hamster cage, stuck together with straw, dog hair, abandoned children’s clothing and Mint Aero wrappers (recently rediscovered after a 20 year hiatus).

Thing is, normally, the last thing on my mind is car servicing. And then, all of a sudden, everything happens, doesn’t it? It’s never just one small thing with cars.

The noise of doom – car seat belt alarm

I really hate the way modern cars bleat at you when you don’t belt up quick enough for your liking. I even have to strap the dog in when he’s on the front seat, because the boot is too full of kid stuff. So I’m used to beeping bleats from the car. But its puncture beep is particularly heinous. Because I DON’T HAVE A PUNCTURE.

The noise is enough to interrupt your rational train of thought and make you want to jump out of the window. And I can’t turn it off.

The light of guilt – puncture notice

The beep gives way to the light. The big red light saying puncture, and the hopeful orange spanner. I don’t know why it’s so hopeful still. It’s been on for almost two years now. The car has been serviced, the computer reset, the tyres checked. Nothing is wrong. Yet spanner and puncture light still conspire to give me at least one rage session every morning.

The voice of reason – why is car servicing important?

Not having your car serviced when it needs it is as daft as missing the dentist, really. So, unless I have to wait a couple of weeks until I’ve been paid, I don’t miss service dates. When I was in London I used to get cheap car servicing from DAT Tyres they had a Hammersmith branch which was where I worked. Now, I stick to our local independent garage for tyre stuff, although they have recommended I take the car to Bathwick Tyres for a ‘bubble bath’, which is when they immerse the tyre in water to try and see if there is any air escaping.

I take it to the main dealership for its big service, because I have to to comply with the lease agreement. Leasing is awesome, but very tricky to comply with all the ‘fair wear and tear’ stuff. Mine looks and smells like it’s been worn and torn by Skeletor at a Tough Mudder competition.

The poor car. It really deserves better, cosmetically. I must take it to the nice dudes at Tesco this weekend for a bath. Maybe the beeping lights are revenge.

This is a collaborative post.

 

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