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Would you rather?

I recently re-bought this classic from my own childhood to share with Tibbs. It’s a fantastic book, full of the sorts of dilemmas a child really has to think about. The below kept me in a quandary for around three years.

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Into adulthood, it pushed me and my sister, and our friends, into increasingly filthy versions of the game, mostly fuelled by booze. Now, it’s time for another re-boot. So here’s a new version of would you rather, for parents. Some, or all of these, may have happened to me.

Would you rather?

Your kid did a pooh in the bath?

or

Your kid did a pooh in a public swimming pool?

Would you rather?

Your phone ran out of battery ten minutes into a three hour car journey with an awake and enraged child?

or

Your child falls asleep in the car 10 minutes from home, at 6pm?

Would you rather?

Get up every day for a month at 5.00am?

or

Have a kid that won’t go to bed until 9pm for a month?

Would you rather?

Your kid projectile vomits milk all down the front window of Cafe Nero in Cabot, splattering the back of an old lady’s neck?

or 

Burst open a six-week old beaker of milk hidden under the sofa, onto your grey living room carpet?

Would you rather?

Wee yourself a bit at Zumba?

or

Do a massive fart during the downward dog at yoga?

Would you rather?

Wheel your pram through the house with dog dirt on the wheel?

or

Your kid leaves a skid mark on your friend’s cream sofa?

Would you rather?

Go to a wedding with a toddler and stay completely sober?

or 

Drink through the wedding and deal with a hangover and a hotel room the next morning?

Would you rather?

Have the kid who keeps the campsite up till 3am, screaming like a maniac?

or 

Camp next to the family who’s kid keeps the campsite up, screaming like a maniac?

Would you rather?

Your kid had a mega tantrum on the bus?

or

Your kid had a mega tantrum in the supermarket?

Would you rather?

Your kid bit another at soft play and its mum saw?

or

Inform a mum that her kid bit yours at soft play when she didn’t see it happen?

Decisions, decisions….every bloody day. Welcome to the world of perpetual Would You Rather parenting.

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7 Comments

  1. oh no, the beaker of milk! i’m sure i remember you mentioning that. did it smell as bad as i imagine it did?

  2. Ooh good game and poor you! Some of these are really clear cut and others are breaking me out in hives!

  3. Haha! Great post. I used to love this too. So funny to think of grown up scenarios. 🙂 x

  4. haha I was really torn with some! Although I am pretty happy to say my child has never poo’d in the bath or the pool. We often share a bath so I feel I’m tempting fate! x

  5. Haha this is hilarious, the poo vs dog poo one is a really hard one as I have a phobia of dog poo yet would be mortified if my child pooed on my friend’s sofa!! x

  6. Oh what a lovely book and super funny – love it. I had never heard of this before (some classic books were lost on us in South Africa) but really want to pick this one up

    Laura x

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